On Finding Out We Were Having Twins- Part 2

The midwife told me that they’d schedule and ultrasound for the next day and so I could hardly sleep that night. This mama just wanted to know what was going on. I woke up expecting a missed call from them, but there wasn’t one. I waited and waited and waited for what seemed like forever. They finally called and said they’d scheduled the appointment and it was in three days. We were going out of town and I told her that it wouldn’t work, plus I couldn’t wait that long. I told her I’d help her find me an appointment. (These midwives outsource their ultrasounds so that is why they couldn’t do one.)

I called every single place I could think of. I got a lot of weird responses from receptionists- I guess people just don’t randomly call in and ask for ultrasounds. I seriously was so impatient that I considered calling Agape, a faith based pregnancy center, and donating money for an ultrasound- glad I didn’t go that far. The midwives called back and they had an appointment for us the next afternoon. Not as soon as I was hoping, but it worked!

I spent that day praying, thinking, dreaming, laughing, worrying, worshiping (specifically “It is Well” by Bethel, and trying to keep myself distracted. Brian and I went to our favorite little Italian restaurant, Sam & Gabe’s, that evening to catch a breath and talk about all the possibilities. It was a great night and we felt so at peace about whatever we would find out the next day. The whole process was extremely overwhelming as it was so unknown, but we placed our full trust in The LORD and we felt confident that we were exactly where He wanted us. We had prayed for our faith and our lives to be stretched and that we would walk upon unknown waters. Knowing that we were being held in the midst of it and that we have a mighty God was incredibly comforting and we felt ready to embark on the journey He had laid out for us.  

It felt so good to wake up the morning of our ultrasound knowing we would soon be figuring something out. I enjoyed a nice comforting lunch of mac and cheese, had some OJ, and meet Brian at The Iowa Clinic in West Des Moines. We checked in and awaited our future. The lady doing the ultrasound was so kind and had been doing them for a long time. Immediately after she put the probe on my belly she said, “Well, there are definitely two! Now, I’m just looking for a third.” I think Brian turned white, not at the thought that there were two, but at the thought there could be three. I giggled and fell in love with my babies. She never did find a third one.

Brian and I looked at each other in a little bit of disbelief that we were indeed having twins. We laughed and I cried tears of joy and relief. Everything looked fabulous on them and I couldn’t believe I was looking at my children! We had wanted to find out the gender before we knew there could be two, so we were extra ready to find out! The tech told us she was 98% sure they were girls and again we laughed. With only one Farley girl in ages, it was fantastic to know that Farley girls could exist in abundance.

We composed our excited selves and tried to wrap our minds around the fact that we were getting the best two for one deal you can get. Telling the family was up next and oh my goodness was that fun! Talk about shocking everyone! We could hardly believe it ourselves, so we understood their shock. It was so fun to see how shocked and excited everyone was and were so excited for them to share in our joy.

The news took some adjusting to, but we felt God tell us that He chose us for this and He would take care of us. As each day passed I got more and more excited that we were going to have two babies and that we were chosen for these baby girls. My heart was happy and my soul overjoyed. 

On Finding Out We Were Having Twins - Part 1

Matt and Amy spontaneously came down to visit before Matt had something for school and we soaked up our time with them! They told us about some friends of theirs, the Pagels, who had just found out they were expecting twins. Amy and I figured out that Trista and I were very close in our due dates and I said “Who finds out that late in their pregnancy they are having twins? That’s crazy! I didn't realize that still happened these days.” We all talked about the ups and downs that twins would bring and our thoughts and feelings if it ever happened to us. I thought it would be fun after the first year, Brian wasn't so sure he would be a fan.

I had an appointment with my midwives the next day, and was so excited to hear baby’s heartbeat again! I told Brian to stay at work since the appointment was just routine and we were going on vacation soon. I dropped Amy off at a Starbucks to wait for Matt and on I went. I saw Lacy and Rebekah and everything was going along as planned, or so I thought. Rebekah, a nurse who is in training for her degree in midwifery, felt my fundal height and checked for a heartbeat. She found one and then I heard a very similar sound when she swiped the other side of my belly, to which she said in a sweet but unsure voice “That’s mom.” Rebekah smirked a bit and asked Lacy to feel my fundal height, which is how high the uterus is and how they can measure what week you should be, she did and smirked as well. Lacy asked me how sure I was when this little babe would be due to arrive and I assured her I was indeed sure. She took the Doppler and again, found two heartbeats- the second one found before wasn't mom. They both just started giggling and Lacy said, “Rachel, I think you have two in there. I think you’re having twins!”

My eyes peered out the window and as I looked at the clouds I couldn't help but just laugh. Tears filled my eyes and with a huge goofy grin on my face I said “My husband is going to kill me.” We talked a little bit more about needing to be sure via an ultrasound, but they were pretty sure there were two. Lacy also mentioned there could be something wrong, so my emotions were all over the place. We hugged and said our goodbyes because we wouldn't be able to see midwives anymore due to the fact that they don’t work with multiples.

I walked out of the clinic feeling all sorts of emotions. I called Brian at work, but he didn't answer. I then called my friend Kelli who has twins knowing she would know exactly how I was feeling, but she didn't answer either. My mom and Liz were together so I called them in a crazy array- they thought something had happened to Brian. But, after the confusion they were very reassuring and excited.

I knew I didn’t want to tell Brian over the phone and I was so thankful that he didn't answer the first time. I wanted to tell him in a sweet say when he got home, and I knew I could always count on Caden and Ellie to tell him if I needed. I was excited and nervous to tell him. I knew he would be shocked, but excited. Even though he mentioned the night before he thought twins would be a little crazy and it wasn't something he thought he wanted, I knew he would be excited. He’s such an incredible husband and is going to make a fantastic father. 

Brian and I always talk on his way home from work and so when he called I did everything I could to get him off the phone so he didn’t ask too many questions. The conversation was dwindling and I told him to just enjoy the drive home and I’d see him soon. I was saying goodbye and he says, “So the appointment was good?” I got super nervous and said “Yes, everything went well.” In light of the conversation we had the night before, Brian then asks “They didn't find two heartbeats did they?” I just paused and then paused some more. I replied “Ummmmm….. you weren't supposed to ask. I was going to tell you when we got home.” He thought I was kidding and didn't believe me. After some convincing that I was indeed telling the truth, and him almost driving off the road, I told him everything about the appointment.

When we got home we just hugged and laughed. We prayed that first and foremost for good health. Although we were a bit worried that something could be wrong, we were pretty convinced that we were having twins. We went to church softball and I could hardly keep my secret in. One friend asked me if I was okay and as we hugged I whispered “Shhhh, but they think I’m having twins!” 

Following Jesus is...

it is ...

It believe it is something that changes every single day, every single moment. Today, following Jesus is joy.

Joy because as I look at the trees changing color and feel the warmth of the sun on my face, I know in my heart that Jesus loves me more than anything else He created. I marvel at how incredibly creative and kind He was when He made this place we call "home."

Joy because I know that whatever comes my way, He will be by my side. He will be there holding my hand with His gentle whisper that He will complete it and it will work out for His glory.

Joy because I know that I have a hand to hold even if everyone else deserted me and left me in the dust.

Joy because He has a claim on my life and His ways are better than mine, so when ideas and plans don't work out, I get to rest and trust because He is the God of the universe.

Joy because He doesn't look at me and tell me that I need to be like the world. He doesn't tell me I need to have a certain type of clothes, smaller hips, non frizzy hair, look like her, etc. Instead, He gives me the freedom to be who He created to be and calls me to be like Him.

Joy because I am absolutely 100% in love with Him. His grace. Worship. Creation. Who He is molding me into. His lavish love. The ways He draws me into Himself. His truth. I am in love with my Savior.

Joy because no matter what I know some day I am going to meet Him face to face. I have no doubt I will fall at His face and weep, and then He will grab my face ever so gently and say "welcome home sweetheart, I am so glad you are here." and draws me into a gentle yet tight hug.


So today it's joy. May there always be joy, my Jesus. For following you is the best thing I have ever done. Through the pain, through the sorrow, through the hardships, may I always chose joy as I chose you instead of the what the world has to offer.

Running with Standards

So, about a month ago I went out for a run. I mean I went out and attempted to run. I am in no way, shape, or form a runner. Since I'm doing the Color Run I thought "Hum... maybe I should actually run it this year and not walk, I mean it is only 3 miles. I should be able to run 3 miles. Because surely if I don't run it everyone will hate me, talk about me behind my back, and call me a pansy..."

Well, I got about 10 minutes in of the run/walk intervals and I felt like I was going to die. My lungs were screaming at me like I had just inhaled 100 cigarettes and my legs were itchy. No one likes itchy legs. I turned about and headed for home 100% ashamed.

On my slow painful walk home I thought about how I should just suck it up and train my body to run. Isn't running the way I will achieve the body I desperately want? Won't more people respect/love/like me if I am actually active and a runner? It will make people proud of me if I can run more than a block before wanting to cry, and therefore they will love me more. If I am a runner, then I will be able to love who I am and I will feel like I have something to be proud of. Even kids can run you awful person. God quickly grabbed a hold of my mind and He changed it.

I decided then and there that I am not willing to give what it would take to become a runner, and I do not care what anyone things of that. I hate running. It makes me feel like crap, it hurts my lungs, my knees hate it,     and it makes my legs itch like crazy. You see, the standards I was holding myself to were made up. They weren't mine, they weren't from Jesus, and they weren't from my husband.

I cannot even begin to tell you the freedom that this brought. Although it may sound like an excuse, a cop out, like I'm a pansy- I don't care. It was so extremely freeing and such a healthy choice for me, because it was healthy for my soul and I love when my soul feels healthy.

You see, it's very easy for me let the world tell me what standards to have. Like this color, want that, do more, want more, be like them, don't do that because it isn't cool, make it look like this or else it isn't good enough, dress like her, have that type of body, be this, be that, do do do, don't try if you will fail, you will only be a good wife if your house is clean, perfectly decorated and dinner is on the table when your husband gets home- what a bunch of crappy lies I have let my brain, my body where the Spirit resides, my temple, my redeemed and forgiven soul, my precious in His sight believe. To this I say "I am done. "

I am done letting others, letting society, letting the blogs, letting Pinterest, letting TV and movies, tell me what I should be, do, accomplish, have my house look like, look like, dress like, decorate like, have my body shape be. I have been held in Satan's bondage too long. They have pegged me down, brought about self-hatred and self-abuse, and I am again ready for the freedom my sweet Jesus so freely offers.

So good-bye standards. Good-Bye. I will choose to listen to who my Savoir wants and asks me to be. I will work on not getting angry and acting out in rage- I will be patient. I will love well. I will seek His face. I will honor my body. I will give away my time. I will love Him first. I will respect and love my husband in the ways that I know he needs. I will not covet. I will say yes.  I will hold on to His right hand as He leads me on this adventurous, dangerous, beautiful, painful, rocky, peaceful, blessed life.  I will follow.

I will listen to my husband, whom I dearly love and who dearly loves me. I will keep the house according to his wants and desires. I will decorate when and how we feel like it, not based on what the Pinterest world tells me I need to do in order to be a good wife. I will drink a coke if I choose to, because he doesn't care and loves me. I will let him fold his socks. I will choose to believe the words of kindness he speaks to me. I will love Brian how Brian feels loved. I will follow.

I will set my own goals and desires. I will ride my bike with joy! I will be proud when I go on a 4, 8, 10, or 15 (that one hasn't been done-yet!) mile bike ride when others can do 20+ with ease. I will some days chose coke over tea. I will not be lead into self hatred when I see how great others have their homes put together and decorated, instead I will claim our home as a blessing.

I will choose truth.
I will claim victory.
I will choose to love myself and not live in shame and self-hatred.
I will choose Jesus.
I will 'run' the race marked out for me like it says in Hebrews, except I am not running, I am riding my bike!



and for the millionth time, but this time I mean it, I am back to the blogging world ladies and gents. Just don't expect to see a post about how to clean, decorate, a workout plan, or how to DIY your life :)

Now, if you know how to do all of those well- I love it and please come over and help me?! No really, I am being serious. Come over and decorate my house...

Jesus Culture- "Come Away"

I love to worship (in the form of song is what this post is referring to). It's like going on a date with the lover of my soul, going on a date with my Jesus. It's time spent in His presence, where I declare my love and He declares His. It's beautiful, and I usually cry. It is one of my favorite things.

I recently became aware of Jesus Culture- Check out their YouTube page please!
     They are, in a nutshell, a worship band who tours, puts on conferences, and write incredible music. I have fallen in love with them because their music speaks to this tender heart who is madly in love with Jesus.


One on my favorite songs(okay I really like every single one of their songs, but this one felt like a good one to blog about) is called "Come Away".

The lyrics are simple and straight forward, and they make me want to take a hold of His hand and go with Him. What a beautiful, sweet, faithful, generous, patient, and adventurous God we serve.

"Come Away" - Jesus Culture

Come away with Me, Come away with Me
It's never too late, it's not too late
It's not too late for you

I have a plan for you
I have a plan for you
It's gonna be wild
It's gonna be great
It's gonna be full of Me

Open up your heart and let Me in

Please check out a YouTube video of the song by clicking -------> HERE. Lyrics start around 1:20. 

My friends, it's never too late. Let Him show you the plan. The plan that is wild, great and full of Him. I don't want or need anymore than to simply join Him in His plan, and let Him take me away. Let Him take me where He wants me to go with an open heart.

Until next time.

Jeremiah 17:8

He will be like a tree planted by water;
 it sends its roots out towards a stream,
  it doesn't fear when heat comes, and its foliage remains green.
   It will not worry in a year of drought or cease producing fruit.


Sigh, this verse was so encouraging to me when it came up on YouVersion (a bible app I highly recommend for a smartphone) yesterday.

I want to be that tree. No matter what life is like, I don't want to fear the heat or to worry when there is a drought. I want to produce fruit, no matter what life's circumstances are. I want to send my roots out to that ever-flowing, constant, steady stream that flows abundantly with calm, cool, refreshing, life-giving water.

I don't want to be the girl that flies off the handle, that holds onto control, that fears the heat and drought, that looks to the world, that seeks approval, that worries, that doesn't ask for help, that believes lies, that doesn't let Him fight, that wants to share in a glory that isn't mine to have. No, I want to just be that tree. I want to let Him fight, believe His truth, take none of the glory, be slow to become angry, give up the control, to drink up that  refreshing water when the heat comes and the drought sets in. I want Him to be my gardener. I want Him to o come and scrape off the bark that is hindering the fruit from growing, and take off the dead branches.

Habakkuk 3:19

Yahweh my Lord is my strength;
He makes my feet like those of a deer
and enables me to walk on mountain heights!
       Habakkuk 3:19


This brings comfort to my weary soul; knowing that He gives me what it takes, despite how little and frail I am, to walk up a mountain. He provides. He is all that I have. He is all that I need. He is mine.

Here are a few interesting things about the feet of deer:

They are similar to the feet of sheep
They give traction to their precarious habitats
       Precarious: subject to change or unknown conditions- dependent on the will of  
                             another- lacking in security or stability


Life is a bit confusing right now, with so many questions to be answered. When, how, what, where, etc. But, I can rest in the fact that He will be my strength and make my feet able to climb and walk on the mountain.

Oh, how I love my Jesus.