Part 5

Make sure to read parts 1-4 :)

My last post was about how my I began to long to minister to people in a different culture; I wanted to go serve the poor and the weary. I was ready to be the minority. I felt like Jesus was preparing my heart to serve in a place I would have never thought I would go.

I was still hearing "go," but I was starting to get really nervous. Am I going to be able to get the comfortable sleep I need (fibromyalgia for this girl)? Are we looking into the right organizations and countries? Is this what you mean by "go?" Why isn't Brian hearing anything? I learned to trust God in a way that I had never had to before. I knew that I had to let go, and let Him guide us 100%. So, I let go of my own thoughts and fears, and gave up what I was holding on to.

Here were some of my thoughts & questions that I seemed to have over, and over:

 How are we going to raise all of the money it takes to go, and still leave quickly? 

We really didn't want to have to raise 100% full support for both of us. We wanted pay for most of it ourselves, but the more we looked into it, the more we weren't sure that was possible. 

"Jesus, I trust that you can do great things, and that you are the ultimate provider, but we don't feel like 100% support raising is something you have for us."

I don't want to ask people I hardly know for money, or ask my friends who still have school debt to pay off.

How can we pick from 20+ opportunities  from the mission organization we began working with? 

I want to go hug all those pretty faces I keep seeing in pictures. 

Is a year too short?

Maybe, we should just do The World Race since we aren't sure what country we want to serve with. I would love to see the world, and meet all sorts of people groups. This could also help us decide if we wanted to serve in a longer term somewhere else. Oh, but that costs a lot....

What if we went to Europe and got jobs, and got involved in a church and did ministry with them? 

We would still be able to speak English, and we could travel, and family would be able to come visit. 

But, it's not as radical as Asia.... and I am ready for radical. 

I want to use my photography as a ministry, and create timeless images that I will cling to forever. 

Wow, a year isn't that much time. We will have just gotten to know people really well, and gotten used to the culture and then we will leave. Should we plan to stay longer? But, then what about starting a family? Maybe, we should plan on bringing a child home with us? 

"Lord, I want to go. I don't want to stay in America. I don't want to stay in Iowa. I don't want to stay in Indianola. I am ready for you to send me, for you to send us. I want to be your hands and feet, and I want to spread the message of the hope you bring!"

As these thoughts were going on, we were applying & talking with a missions organization. We had told them we wanted to go to Asia, and we were looking into the opportunities they had there. We started looking at dates for training camps, and when we could leave to "go." I started a draft of a support letter, and we had a list made of the people we could send it to. We also contacted some people in Europe that were working with the same organization we were, and kept that open as a possibility. I was nervous and excited to see the process start to lead somewhere. 

A few weeks after the church service I talked about earlier, we the pastor's house (Geoff), and he told us that Westwind was going to be planting a new church out of love-not a split. He told us they were highly considering Warren county; quite possibly Indianola, and they wanted us to be part of the core. He also said that they would love for me to be on staff to work with the kids and families. I smiled, laughed, and told him that it was awesome they were going to do that, but we're probably going to Asia. He replied with a smile and said something like "I want you here with us." 

Well my friends, this is where the story takes a turn....